Mary Lou Big Day

Mary Lou White-Big Day, “Biaachiinaachiish” (Good Woman Accomplishments)

October 1, 1940 to January 7, 2024

Mary Lou was a daughter, mother, sister, grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great grandmother, and best friend. She was the world to many people and stood as both a mother and grandmother to countless people around the world. She was a matriarch for many. Despite the lectures and stern talks she would have with individuals, she always had a heart of gold, and showed she meant well with these talks. She has taught so much in this world, and there were never enough lessons to be had by her. A teacher of life, Crow culture, and a master of traditional doll-making.

For years, she was chosen to exhibit her work at the competitive Santa Fe Indian Art Market. In 2001 she demonstrated her craft at the Department of Interior's American Indian Doll Show in Washington, D.C., and at the Smithsonian's Renwick Gallery in 2002. Also, in 2002 she was featured artist of the month at the Interior Department's Indian Craft Shop. She was the Indian Arts and Crafts Association 2008 Artist of the Year and was chosen to become a member of Montana's Circle of American Masters in 2009. In 2011, she was an adviser for the Tipi Heritage of the Great Plains exhibit of the Brooklyn Museum, shown in SHOHO District in New York City. Her dolls have been exhibited in galleries, museums, and gift shops in Cody, WY, Rapid City, SD, Albuquerque, NM, and countless places in the United States, Australia, and London.

She may have been small and much older, but she was strong and fierce. She could bring down any mountain if she wanted, but she had the softest spirit that could comfort the most broken hearted. She truly was an amazing lady. She was and is a mother, Kaale, comforter, and the world for many. There are not enough tears for her, because even attempting to stand strong, tears fall naturally. Grieving is natural and should be expressed, yet we must remember the old ways and teachings of Mary Lou. Those old ways were passed down by her for good reason. She had always taught her grandchildren and children not to cry at night, granted she knew it was difficult in such times. We must find her strength she spoke of without her this time. She was loved with no end. She truly was the head woman in peoples' lives, just as she was the Chief Woman of the Arrow Creek Community in the Hot Dance Society.

She took care of everyone, even strangers that would enter her and Heywood's home. When her husband fractured his spine, even in her old age, she stepped up with her walker, and began taking over cooking breakfast, fixing the bed, reminding him to take his medication, and would ensure that her son and grandson were fed and taken care of as well. When her son Derek would get sick or injured, she'd attempt to take over the household chores of cleaning, and the daily chores. She had achieved and done much for a woman at her age and condition.

Her son Heywood Jr would call her every morning to check on her as she sat by the computer with her floral coffee cup and morning cookies. To her son's William and Jace she'd treat as her babies, and would constantly worry if they had cigarettes, food, and more. She glorified all the men of her life, and would consistently speak of their achievements, and would also visit for hours about how proud she was of everyone in her life. She'd speak of her visits to see her adopted children all over the world, to Hawaii to see her son Dennis Tek, Australia to Mark Lukas, Washington DC to Nick Dorosheff, New Mexico to Chris Nieto, Gallup to Harold Jess, and Texas to Mitchell McCrea. She spoke of her sons Adrian Heidenreich, Larry Hurley, and Lewi Fletcher, and how much they'd all come to the house and help her with ceremonies and cultural gatherings. With all her grandchildren, she'd talk and lecture with no end, but she always told them she wasn't getting mad at them, but rather was teaching them life lessons. And despite all the stern lectures, she loved them no matter what. Mary Lou would sit and wait to hear from her daughter Rayleen and would tell her to come to the house just to have her there as a fellow woman, because she always had a household of boys. Her daughter-in-law Veronica would come to help with womanly comfort and understanding as well. She'd call her baby sister Barbra Lee to catch up on the latest gossip, and they'd both nag about people and how to address the world's problems. She loved to visit with all her sisters, nieces, nephews, and friends. She loved to go to Billings to the point she had a routine with her husband and son.

Their first stop would be Holiday Gas Station for a medium size fountain drink she'd share with her husband, followed by Starbucks for two orders of her bacon egg bites, shopping, dinner at one of her favorite places, Soups and Such or Panda Express, then off to both Costco and Sam's Club. Before heading home, she'd want ice cream from Baskin Robbins or Dairy Queen. Typically, her Friday and Saturday nights were solely dedicated to playing Bingo, where she would always be greeted by the workers as “Mom.” During this daily routine, no matter what season it was, she would remind her son to pick up bouquets of flowers for the house. She had so many flowers both in and outside of her house, that it smelled like a floral shop. Mary Lou lived an amazing life, and received more blessings than one could have. Yet, part of us feel like it wasn't enough.

Her entire family did it all for her, but it feels like there was more to do. She had more visits to be had with her sisters Claudette, Dorma, and Elna. She had more comforting and teachings to do for her daughters Marcia, Fannie, Veronica, and Rayleen. She had more prayer requests for

her son Elroy. And she had more visits with her little brother Bruce. She had left many things that needed more taken care of and time.

Time isn't forever in this physical world, only in the next life does it exist. And for some reason we don't understand in this moment of grief, why she was called upon by our God. She may not be here physically, but her spirit lives on, and will always be there to help us all. It is believed not only in Christianity, but in Crow Indian culture, that her spirit is able to help us more than she could here. We will truly miss her physical presence, her voice, and her smell, but she is alive and well in the next world. Her voice can be heard through all the people she has taught, and her physical comfort can be felt in moments of peace. Though her physical form is no longer with us; she continues to show us that she is alive through others. Remember that peace and give yourselves the comfort that she has always wanted for yourselves. Wipe away your tears, just as she would wipe them away for you. Have sympathy and forgiveness amongst each other, just as she had. And stand there for one another, just as she showed and taught everyone about unity. Help those who are less fortunate on the streets. Give respect to everything in life. A'ho (Thank you) Biaachiinaachiish, for being a mother, grandmother, and wife.

Mary Lou was preceded in death by her parents James Sr. and Sara Hawk-White, her children Ellen Big Day, her grandchildren Jacelyn Big Day, great-grandchildren, Tennielle Big Day, brothers James White Jr., Carlton “Big Boy” Nomee, John Nomee, Lewellyn Nomee, Robert Nomee, Michael Halk, Paul Nomee Jr., Johnny White, Leroy White, Andrew White, Raymond White, Jim Watt, Ed Watt, William Watt Jr., Sterling, Everett, and Nelson Wallace, Her sisters Clara White-Stands Over Bull, Loettal Wallace, Ramona “Tiny” Nomee-Backbone, Marjorie Nomee-Hoops, Daisy Nomee-Bright Wings, Ada White, Victoria White, Vida Wallace, grandparents William White, Josephine Crooked Foot, Frank Hawk and Dora Travels Well Known. Her aunts and uncles, Gretchen Bull Weasel-Nomee, Lugenia Hawk, Julia White-Kelly, Charles Frank-White, Bill White, Henry White, Edgar Hawk, Milton Hawk, Richard Bull Weasel, and William Watt Sr.

Mary Lou is survived by her children and adopted children; Derek Big Day, Heywood Jr. (Veronica) Big Day, William (Kay) Big Day, Jace (Linda Azure) Big Day, Elroy (Kitty) Nomee Sr., Harold Jess Brien, and Adrian (Constance) Heidenreich, Beth (Calvin) Brush, Mary Little Light, Janice Morning, Laura Lee Nomee, Father Randolph Graczyk, Marica Beaumont, Fannie (Craig) Cliff, Doris Limberhand, Clarice Beaumont, Rhonda Raschkow, Iris Heavy Runner, Raylene (Jonathon) Pretty On Top, Roberta (Alfred) Walks, Kathy Haun-Fighter, Emma Lou George, Roseann George, Roseen Goerge, Lewie Fletcher, Nich Dorsheff, Mitch McCrane, William “Willy” Spint, Deniz (Ann) Tek, Christopher Nieto, Mike Dekemper, Dennis Fitzpatrick, Turk Stovall, Darrin Thompson, and Larry Hurley.

Her grandchildren; Felice Big Day, Heywood (Third) Big Day III, Randolph Big Day, Tennison (Trisheena) Big Day, Otter (Don) Big Day, Elishia Big Day, Zephra Big Day, Holly Stands, Jamie White, Larry Plain Bull Jr., Fred Plain Bull, Laurie Plain Bull, and Dorcella Plain Bull.

Her twenty-two great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchild.

She had numerous nieces and nephews.

Brothers; Bruce White Sr., Chester (Sharolyn) Nomee Sr., Vincent (Marla) Blackhawk Jr., Mervin (Rebecca) White, and Charles Kelly.

Sisters; Barbara White Comes Up, Josie (Ben) Nomee Stands, Bonnie Hawk, Dorma (Allert Sr.) Blackhawk-Takes Enemy, Claudette Blackhawk, Elna Blackhawk, Ferol Blackhawk, Veronica (Brewster Sr.) Nomee-Pretty On Top, Peggy White, Eloise George, and Dolly Kelly.

Tobacco Society children; Dale (Myrna) Old Horn, Robert “Corky” (Rachel) Old Horn, Chris (Tammy) Dillon, Kristen Dillon, Lorena (Johnny Boy) Holds The Enemy, and Gwendolyn (Larry) Plain Bull.

Her extended families; White, Hawk, White Clay, Birdinground, Kelly, Watt, Nomee, and Beaumont. Please forgive us if we have omitted anyone during our grief